Dealing with Differences in Desire, Part 3: Four Practical Strategies
We've talked about the foundation. You understand some of the dynamics beneath the surface. Now what do you actually do?
This is Day 3 of the Dealing with Differences in Desire workshop, and it's the most practical session of the series. I walk through four things you can start doing right away to improve intimacy with your wife.
First, slow down. Most men have no idea how much time their wives actually need to become fully aroused, and the research on this is eye-opening.
Second, learn to talk about sex outside the bedroom. I share some communication principles to help with this conversation, since for many couples, it can be a difficult topic.
Third, release the brakes. Try focusing on removing the obstacles: her mental load, unresolved conflict, and the lack of margin in your evenings. This is about creating the kind of marriage where intimacy can naturally thrive.
Fourth, address whether she's actually enjoying sex. This one takes courage, but the logic is obvious: nobody desires something that isn't enjoyable.
Each of these genuinely works. Each one is also just the first step into something deeper. I'll be honest about that too. Grab a cup of coffee and let's talk about it.
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